you be the judge

it's a wierd thing: judgement.
it is the distance between me and so many things. it is the wedge between me and everything i long to get closer to. i try and work it out. dissect things, pick 'em apart and mostly, mostly i try to be as generous and as open as i can. it's some crazy dance i do. i don't know why, but i do it. its demanding. it keeps me on my toes.

the biggest judgement — the big black blanket covering us up kind — is judgement of the self. how many times have i second guessed myself today — today alone?

there it is. always there, like a mirror held up too close.